Xaviera Hollander
The Happy Hooker
X-mas 2010 Newsletter
Dear friends, fans, theater visitors and bed and breakfast guests,
It is time again to wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous new year. This past year life has been mostly pleasant, but also hectic, hence I have not had time to compose my usual quarterly newsletters. Let's get in to the X-mas & Chanukah mood with this Funny video about the Christmas/Chanukah Can Can by the Straight no Chaser choir:
Renovated Villa Caprice B&B Marbella
On a bad note, a bunch of amateur builders swindled me on a roof repair on my villa, Caprice, in Marbella after the villa was flooded when it rained more or less continuously for over a month. 
I have converted Villa Caprice into a bed and breakfast.
My villa’s once lovely garden and terrace were constantly messy with cement, bags of sand, tiles, tools and sweaty young Brits pretending to fix my roof but, in fact, they had no idea how to do so. A short few months later, when it rained again, the roof was still leaking in almost all the same places. As you can well imagine, both Philip and I were furious. The lead dog, who turned out to be an out of work electrician… disappeared! Just in time, a sweet German roof specialist came to our rescue and fixed the roof by himself over the course of a month for a much more reasonable price than the British crook charged.
Colorful Leeds Jewish theater festival
I want to tell you what has happened to me since my darling Schnoofy,the wild little feisty Maltese Lion, died in June. Barely three hours after Schnoofy passed away (having been euthanized by the vet) in the loving arms of Philip and me, we boarded a plane…still weeping about the loss of our “child”, and headed towards Leeds in the UK where we attended the Leeds Jewish Theatre Festival.
We were pleasantly surprised with the quaint little town of Leeds and the lovely, stately old hotel we had chosen which was just around the corner of the Theater Festival. We were particularly impressed by the fantastic black Jewish gospel singer Joshua Nelson from New York. This man has a great voice, amazing energy and fantastic wit. Move over Sammy Davis, Jr.!
Since I prefer real spoken word Theatre, I was most impressed by an Israeli play called The Timekeepers (review).Positioned within a specific historical timeframe, this play zooms in on just two lives.
Our laughter and empathy is truly heartfelt because of the deeply intimate relationship that develops between audience and characters. Thrown together amid the horrors of a concentration camp, an elderly Jewish watchmaker and a young homosexual offer classic “odd couple” entertainment packed with bittersweet quips and guilty laughs in this production. Working together, repairing watches for the Nazis in a concentration camp, suspicion, prejudice and indifference slowly give way to a touching friendship. Benjamin can mend watches. Hans knows how to survive. Neither of them can really sing opera. So… what ensues? Humor, apparently, is a great weapon.
Riveted by their stage performance, I intend to put more Jewish theater productions on Dutch soil. I enjoyed several terrific shows in Leeds.The ambiance was grand.The festival took place in a very large building where almost every one of the Leeds Jewish residents attending seemed to know each other.If it had not been for our fanatic bookings of two to three plays a day, we could have joined several meshpoges who had invited us to various kosher or non-kosher meals. (You know me, I lament missing good food.)
Eric Kohn and Bob Guccione two influential people died
This last year I also lost some friends. The death of Bob Guccione, my ex boss of the famous Penthouse magazinefor which I wrote a sex advice column “Call me Madam” for thirty-five years, came as no surprise. He had been gravely ill for a year. Since I stayed in touch with some of his sons, I was prepared for this occurrence, and wrote an obituary for Bob.Subsequently, my British mentor, Eric Kohn, died in Edinburgh. He was the wise old father figure in my life for over forty years. He taught me all about classical music, art and the stock market. He managed my finances and generally watched over me like a hawk. Eric was 82 when he passed on. Our friendship started when I first went to live in Marbella. He became my mentor while I was the occasional tormentor. He also helped me edit several books. The last one, my favorite, CHILD NO MORE was an ode to my beloved mother. 
I vividly remember driving around in his golden Rolls Royce Corniche in the Puerto Banus in Marbella (when it was still fun) while listening to Mahlers 8th symphony on his stereo and when he took me and some young friends to Czechoslovakia, Rome and Hungary. As an historian, Eric was very knowledgeable about the many things he showed to us. Not to forget… a tour we took by car to Edinburgh, resting in picturesque places like Bath and Cambridge.
Edinburgh Theatre Festival 2010
Philip and I were at the hospital for four hours of blood tests and examinations.It seemed like a most unusual fringe festival show.The lobby had patients waiting inside of this hospital along with winos and drug addicts being hurled on invalid chairs or on crutches, often accompanied by screaming lovers and sternly spoken to by impatient police men who tried to shut the screamers up before dumping them at the reception desk so the truly ill people laying on couches or hanging in chairs could have some peace.
The test results showed that I had sprained some muscles near my heart, apparently because I had pushed and pulled some stupid wheel carriage that my luggage was on at the airport. A rotten old cart, it refused to go in a straight line. I dragged and pulled that thing around for almost half an hour after we landed… on our way to the taxi which seemed miles away. Ah… well, it was an experience never to forget. The price to pay for this medical treatment was zero pounds… all part of the National Health System!
In the meantime, our great friend and composer of the musical about my life, WARREN WILLS, showed up. Even my best friend from London, a fine lady and one time actress Anna Florian, herself popped over to Edinburgh for a week. (She faithfully assists me with all my theatrical enterprises in Spain, where she, like me, has a second residence.)Meanwhile, she and Warren have become very close friends. Warren accompanied many a great performer during the festival, of which the most terrific and most famous was the one time lover of Freddy Mercury from Ultimate Queen: PETER STRAKER from Jamaica.
Even though he was not one of the youngest performers on the Fringe, he surely has a fantastic stage personality. He had a terrific lounge at his disposal with a large audience and a great band of young enthusiastic musicians. Peter became famous as the hot shot protégé of Freddy Mercury from QUEEN and was the first musical star to go stark naked in HAIR.
He was also the original singer in PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. He is, of course, like the rest of that band, still a raving but most charming QUEEN. When Peter starts singing, everyone can hear him loud and clear, as this man does definitely NOT need a microphone. He literally knows how to belt out his songs. He is one of the kindest men I met with super soft, smooth skin and the finest of dark hands I have seen on someone his age: elegant, feminine and a perfect gentleman with the brightest of green eyes.
What the press says:
"Hailed as one of the greatest voices on stage today, Peter Straker, original cast member of Hair; Phantom of the Opera (for Ken Hill rather than Andrew Lloyd Webber); Blues in the Night and Hot Stuff, brings his unique talents to bear on the bitter and thrilling songs of Jacques Brel. Set in a seedy bar in the port of Amsterdam, this acclaimed compilation highlights Straker’s incomparable vocal artistry."
True life story of a stripper
Now… up to some more sex appeal in the plays we saw.Warren, being an old timer at the Festival, is not only highly respected by many but has all the right connections, so he managed to get Philip and me into numerous shows that already had been sold out.With our promoter’s passes around our neck, we enjoyed some terrific women singing and acting. The one show that I definitely want to bring to Holland and/or Spain is STRIPPED, the true, life story of a onetime stripper (reminded me, in many ways, of my own Happy Hooker days).
Written and performed by Hannah Chalmers Directed by Rikki Beadle-Blair
If, like most people, you are curious about the fascinating world of exotic entertainment… don't miss this must-see masterpiece written and starring one of the industry's experts, the beautifully witty, Hannah Chalmers. Making its Edinburgh Festival debut, this sexy, sensitive, dirty and funny, ‘Stripped’ goes all the way to reveal the secrets of the dark, deceiving world of the Strip Club.
“Stripped” is a truthfully witty, yet touching one-woman show based on real characters and encounters from Hannah’s pole dancing days. This show will make you laugh, cry, cringe and… be touched (but, that may cost extra!).Boundaries are pushed, rules broken, relationships abused and dignity tested, as the men pursue sex and the women compete for money in this gender struggle for power.
STORM LARGE
Last but not least we were very much impressed by the the terrific statuesque singer STORM LARGE
With her somewhat shocking yet humorous song: My vagina is 8 miles Wide, she not only proved to be a great and sexy singer but, also an actress. Her wildly enthusiastic public, which was between the ages of 20 and 70, adored the ground she walked on. Warren, who knows this woman well, was so enthusiastic about her stage presence and singing capacities that he is arranging a tryout with both Storm Large and Hannah Chalmers in order to find the perfect woman who can portray ME in the musical about my book, The Happy Hooker.
Lovely Lessies on a visit at the new bed & breakfast Villa Caprice - summer of 2010
Let’s leave the festival for what it is. I think this news letter could be filled with dozens of interesting theater shows, but let me get back to my lovely autumn in Marbella where Philip and I had an influx of gorgeous and talented women, most of them were lesbians though, but still delightful and charming to Philip, who EVERYBODY always seems to adore. Why is it that everyone always nudges ME in the ribs while saying: " He, you sure got yourself a terrific husband. That man does EVERYTHING for you, He is a great cook and so kind hearted. You better watch out not to loose him. Does he have a brother maybe???"
I want to fully agree with these words and even wish to add some more words of praise for Philip and that is that he - sometimes in vain - TRIES to save me money and stop me from taking the wrong decisions, like picking the wrong workers on our house, or making wrong business deals with certain people, but he also is the one who helped me mount my HOME THEATRE in Marbella. So without HIM on my side certain business ventures would never have gotten off the ground. Of course I appreciate and adore that man but..,,, it would be nice if someone would actually also say to HIM: ' He, Philip you are so lucky with a woman like Xaviera by your side... She organizes all vacations, keeps the social calendar, finds all the right theater plays or movies to see , has a tremendous stamina and never sits still or sulks or complains. She is one heck of a dynamic happy woman!"
There was my bright and fun American girlfriend, Destini Baxter who had just self published her first lesbian novel called SECRETLY BOUND about a year ago.She is originally from Seattle Washington but has been living with her Dutch wife and their two boys (artificial insemination with her wife) near Alkmaar for the last 11 years. What appeared to be a happy family at first has now fallen apart as they have just split up. Destini quickly found herself a brand new younger ladybug and a very talented singer,also from her hometown, called JAMIE NOVA. She is, according to one of our closest friends, Rolf Buiter www.mooie-muren.nl who was also our guest during this trip: “A boy trapped in a woman’s body”- tiny, feisty, muscular, tattooed . We attended a restaurant opening at Tres Amigos where Jamie played a few songs acoustically.
She sounds like Janis Joplin and is a great guitar player as well as singer. Destini, mesmerized by her talented girl, adores every note she plays or sings and has now, a few months later, moved in with Jamie. She started her own record label/publishing company in the US and is helping Jamie start her new solo career by producing a new cd, The Softer Side. Destini is also her agent.
After these girls left… another set of ladybirds moved in for about a week: Pauline and Astrid. Quieter than the wild bunch of American girls and “together”for a couple of years they enjoyed the pool, the sunshine and a lively tablao flamenco we took them to. We were treated to a genuine Spanish paella followed by some true Gypsy musical treat of the dancers, guitarist and singers. This place is located on the beach of Marbella and unknown yet to any tourists so it retains its authenticity. It was great seeing the gitanas strutting their flamenco outfits and castanets while accompanied by their often much older but equally talented sugar daddy type gypsy lovers… probably married to someone else.
Last, but not least, there were Ulrike and Scott, friends I have known since the day they met about eight years ago. She is a very talented photographer (German) and he is a sweet American –Jewish, younger businessman. It was the first time they managed to vacation without their two children. Therefore, while grossmutter looked after their offspring in Germany, Ulrike and Scott amused themselves enormously in sunny Marbella. They, unlike all the lesbian friends (who were mostly frolicking around topless in the pool ) spent more time on the road visiting neighboring places like Granada and Cordoba. However, at night we always had dinners at “home” and got to know each other a lot better.
Westerbork Serenade theatre show in Amsterdam
I MUST now tell you about my last and most exciting performance I ever brought to Amsterdam, as well as the Hague: THE WESTERBORK SERENADE written and performed by David Natale from SeattleWashington. It has been about nine years since I last produced a theater show in Amsterdam. What with all the police hassle and demands to join organizations like Buma, Stemra or even Horeca. I had enough of all this bureaucracy and not earning enough money to make ends meet. I never had a sponsor or subsidy , so I decided to stop bringing Edinburgh Fringe festival award winning plays to Holland and… instead, Philip and I began producing plays in our Spanish Home Theater in Marbella.
This time it was the well-known Israeli filmmaker, Erga Nerts, living in Amsterdam who persuaded me to come out of retirement and… if I would… please… produce this incredible one-man show in Holland starring an American Jewish actor David Natale. What started out as a thesis about Berlin Cabaret for his theater school project in New York, became a full length ninety minute show. He took the short version of Johnny and Jones songs and turned it into a 90 minute play where he seamlessly impersonates fifteen different characters who were all at the Westerbork camp. This play is written by David himself and is based on ten years of conversations with people who he met while residing in New York. All were survivors or family of survivors of the Holocaust.
Oy vey… a subject MOST DIFFICULT to promote, especially amongst Jewish people over a certain age. As you can imagine, it was quite a challenge to convince with assistance of Jack Weil (who has produced the Jewish Film Festival for the last eight years) almost everyone I spoke to. Some people however could not get over their war traumas and remained at home.
Jack introduced me to Madelon Bino- Meijers the dynamic director of the brand new Liberal Jewish Synagogue in Amsterdam . She was immediately interested in letting us use their incredible new theater as platform for the world premiere of the WESTERBORK SERENADE.
It took me over a month to get the flyer and poster designed, have ten thousand copies printed and distributed, as well as thousands of emails sent out. In the meantime, I schmoozed my way into the hearts of many Jewish people. Result… an almost full house of visitors to the Westerbork Serenade and a great time with two of the nicest guests : David Natale, a vegetarian and his friend - light and soundman - Rick, a true vegan. They both live and make theater in Seattle, Washington.
Shortly before we started the show, David’s wish to visit Camp Westerbork came true and was organized by Erga who was filming the entire day. So, together with Alan Ehrlich, (a cousin of the main star in the play Max Ehrlich) who had flown in from Geneva, Switzerland, Jack Weil and his wife Astrid, Philip and me… we all set off to the Camp. What a gloomy day it was indeed!
It was an intensely emotional afternoon. Philip tracked down the details of his own grandfather who had been gassed in Auschwitz in 1944. Jack Weil found the small statue signifying the barracks where his parents used to stay. I found out that my family, with the real name of de Vries, was directly related to Cannenwasser, who was one of the famous duo, Johnny and Jones. We rounded up the day with a TV interview for Art TV Drenthe.
The Synagogue was three quarters full, the Apollo First Theater was elegant and cozy and the Ostade Theatre, - especially the last night’s show, - was almost sold out. The after party we had was great with people like the cabaratiers FIFI L’ AMOUR and RODOLFO RAVISSANT and the black singer Lenny St. Luce made it all very special. I am positive David and Rick will miss Holland after this succesful tour.
Video opening speach Westerbork Serenade in Pepijn theatre The Hague
The last night’s show in the Hague at the PePijn Theater was a true surprise to me as I only know very few people there but between the P.R. of the Jewish network L.J.G. and the ex-pat organizations, like ACCESS the theater was totally sold out. What better could a new actor wish to happen on the last nights performance than a standing ovation that lasted 5 minutes!
I asked David while we drove home to Amsterdam that night what he was planning to do next."Groucho Marx" was his answer." I want to be able to make people laugh for once" Bravo David I am sure he can impersonate just about anyone but I will still make an effort to introduce him to some of my American agent friends with the Westerbork Serenade, since I believe this show needs a lot of publicity and should be seen by the American Public as well. After all, he does it in their mother tongue.
A little explanation as to why I, Xaviera Hollander, seem drawn to Jewish content theater plays where the subject is usually the Holocaust. It is because of my own background, being a child of a German mother and a Dutch-Jewish father ; and having been incarcerated for a few years ( since I was 3 weeks old) in Japanese Concentration camps. Thus, I seem to have a fascination with Jewish plays, often to do with the war and suffering but also with humor and survival. I also happen to have lost a few family members during the Holocaust.
Documentary "PORTRAIT OF A SEXUAL REVOLUTIONARY" now for sale in webshop
The docu-drama about my live "THE HAPPY HOOKER" - PORTRAIT OF A SEXUAL REVOLUTIONARY is now finally for sale in my webshop.
Bravo Robert Dunlap who produced this great story about my life. It is Christmas time: The film reveals the woman behind the legend who became the most famous madam of all time. Interviews with Larry King and commentary from America's foremost sexologists explore Xaviera's rise and fall as a Madam, her deportation from the United States and her political significance to the Feminist Movement and Sexual Revolution of the 1970's.
"What becomes an erotic legend most? Longevity. Sex symbols have notoriously short shelf lives, and the few that endure loom large in our pop-culture consciousness: Liz, Marilyn, Madonna. In an age of fleeting sexperts and flavor-of-the-month pornoqueens, it's nothing short of remarkable that after 30 years Xaviera Hollander is still a household name."
The Washington Post
I hope to see you at my next two shows in January and February 2011
One in Marbella: Micheline and Frank American standards, Jazz and Chansons the end of January 2011
In the first show 'Brel & Piaf', Micheline sings: La vie en rose, Milord, Padam en La foule, alongside her favorite Jacques Brel songs.
The second program is an evening filled with American standards: 'It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Swing.' Micheline lived for ten years in Manhattan and was inspired by Cole Porter, Gershwin and Charlie Chaplin Information and booking >>
And the next one in Amsterdam the end of February called Roots...Shmoots! starring Saul Reichlin
Saul Reichlin's superb new show, abundant in all the wisdom and humour of the shtetl. Follow the hilarious adventures of Sholom Aleichem, himself, as he returns to the place of his birth to visit his roots. Such a trip would not be complete, however, without a special appearance by Tevye the Milkman and Menachem Mendel, the matchmaker! Information and booking >>
Happy Chanukah, Happy X-mas, Happy New year!!
Surprise your lover or friend with a special gift this Holiday Season.
Truly a very unique and personalized present as
I will happily dedicate and sign the DVD jacket.
Make them extra happy by adding a signed copy of the
HAPPY HOOKER! STILL HAPPY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
See my Shop for great X-mas gifts >>
This brings me towards the end of this lengthy newsletter
Love and best wishes for a happy, sexy New Year,
Xaviera Hollander
Theatre and concert shows
